Our crazy life
by VenomousAngel13
Summary: Sequel to crazyness of life, more weird crazyness after Harmoni decides to make her idea a reality, this story has a bit of everything! Give it a go good people!
1. The mad house

**A/N **So new story time! Sequel to Crazyness of life, even more crazy, even more insane and not making sense, this is gonna have a bit of everything, ghosts, mystery, people being mistaken for animals...I've even got some slash in there all tied together with a very thin plot, enjoy the weirdness and onwards we go!

**Chapter 1 The mad-house**

Harmoni insisted on walking home, she had been kept in the hospital for an extra day so she decided that walking home was her only option.

"Why is it again that we're walkin?" Raven asked right beside her sister, the way her sister wobbled slightly, she half expected to find her sister dead in some ditch, not that there were many ditches in Aiedo. Alot of busy-ness but not many ditches.

"I don't like taxi's, they're evil"

"Taxi's aren't evil Harmoni"

It was a discussion they had had many times, Harmoni was adament that taxi's were evil and not the good Iziah kind.

"Yes they are. They are evil and stupid"

"Good to see you have your sophisticated speech patterns back"

Harmoni shot her sister a look, "Haven't you got space pirates to chase?"

"Nah I did that this mornin, so have you figured out what was goin on in your coma?"

"Well I got to bang Seth Rollins, does that count?"

"Sure. Why not"

Harmoni clapped her hands joyfully almost falling over her own long legs, "I do like him, he's pretty with even prettier hair"

"Yeah it's concern, a serious concern"

"And you're not listening" Harmoni concluded as her sister started looking at the flowers in wonder, Raven seemed to have her good and bad phases, one moment she would present fine, she would be coherant and even smart with mother-hen like tendencies, and then there were bad phases where she believed she was a space pirate or zombie, or worse she pretended she was a bee and tried to get the pollen out of the flowers. Or maybe Miss-eats-everything was just hungry. Her slender fingers with their black sleek nails hauled up several flowers, her silver eyes gleaming with joy.

"Mmmm flowers"

Harmoni snatched them out of her hand and crushed them, "You're not eating the flowers"

Raven seem to switch again, now back to her current frame of mind "Fine, I won't eat the damn flowers"

"Good" Harmoni swept them from her hand and kept walking up the street, the day was alive and buzzing around her, she wasn't sure if she liked that or not.

"Are you gonna be able to walk up the hill?" Raven asked as they came to the bottom of their house, the house it's self was at the top of a hill, a rather steep hill. Their house was like a God looking down on the other dull looking houses. All perfect in straight-ness and picket fenced, perfect flower beds that started out nice looking but wound up trampled, oddly enough not by Raven but by her twin Iziah and her younger sister Jamie, sometimes her cousin Storm. They had been trampled so much that the owners just stopped caring.

"I think I can make it up the hill, if I don't get me a nurse, preferably Seth Rollins"

"I'll see what I can do" Raven laughed as Harmoni made her way the hill, she managed to make up without incident. Still she called for her male nurse.

"Get me Rollins!"

"I think he's busy designing a new buildin' Ha! Get it? Cause he's an architect"

"Yes Raven, very amusing" Harmoni pushed the door open,

"Welcome back!" Jamie and Iziah cheered, a banner hanging over their heads. _Death to Canada_ was scribbled out while a very hasty _Welcome back I guess_ was written underneath it.

"Why does it say death to Canada?"

"Well Harmoni I'll tell you" Iziah started as Jamie hugged her sisters before fleeing upstairs, she had other things to do, like finding Waldo. "Candians have annoying sayin's like 'one more match' and 'Peep-ulation'. It annoys me damnit!"

"I'm pretty sure that's just Christian and not the whole of Canada"

"Oh now you're just splitting hairs"

"Hey Frank," Raven smiled at thin air, still in her normal coherant form. "Yeah, she's fine, just a small bump on the head"

"Ha! Is that what you call it? Small bump my ass, she slammed my head into the carpet"

"Jokes on you, it wasn't on the carpet, it was on the floorboards" Iziah gave her a victory smirk "Ah!" Iziah quickly dodged as Harmoni whipped a butcher's knife at her sister. It lodged in the wall, no doubt it would be there until Raven needed it for cooking.

"I'm really gonna enjoy my revenge" Harmoni glowed putting her head on the table, resting her eyes.

"Sleep with Christain, think that would do it"

"Eww Raven please, I've just finished breakfast"

"Yeah like three hours ago"

"Still counts" Harmoni answered not lifting her head. "I've got it!" Harmoni piped up suddenly sitting up so fast she got dizzy, "Whoa, spinning birds"

"What have you got?"

"My coma! I know what it was about"

"Yeah we got the memo, banging Rollins"

"Not just that. We had a lodging house where people stayed"

"Were there _M&amp;M_s involved?"

"Of course, that was the fee." Harmoni let out a long trail of giggles as more started to come back, "We had a lodging house, Superstars and Diva's stayed with us for a packet of _M&amp;M_'s, I wound up banging Rollins, Iziah was responsible and the mother hen and you were a nymphomaniac!"

"I was a what?"

"It means-" "I know what it means" Raven snapped, "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know, I think I'm more concerned that Iziah was in charge"

Raven was about to protest but thought better of it, Iziah being in charge was kinda more concerning. The theme of the day seemed to be barging through the front door, there father Shawn Michales and a random suitcase.

"Oh God, what did you do now?"

"Nothing" Shawn gave her a harsh look before relenting, "Ok I called Trish's ass fat"

"Why? Why would you even do that?"

"She asked me if her jeans made her ass look fat and they did"

Raven slammed her head on the table, "Oh my God, the things I have to deal with and you people wonder why I eat flowers"

"Dad, you don't ever say yes to that question, you always say no of course not"

"Well I didn't know that" Shawn got out sounding very childish, he took a seat next to his daughter's, he had hoped that they would be able to help him.

Raven looked to the door, her silver orbs wide with expectantly, "I'm waitin for the door to open again, I know it's comin"

Harmoni ignored that, turning her green eyes back to her father, "Have you tried sayin you're sorry"

"Harmoni I don't apologize, I'm sorry but thats just the way I am"

"I founded him! I founded him!" Jamie squealed bounding down the stairs, her Waldo book in hand. Jamie, the youngest Michales girl had to show her older sister what she had found, blonde locks swept down her almost five-eleven frame, those blue eyes alive with joy. "Hey Dad, I founded him!" Jamie said proudly putting the book under Raven's nose, one hand stroking down the long black and silver locks, her other hand pointing at the book, her face screwed up with confusion for a moment, "Oh I losted him, oh wait I founded him again! See!"

"Very well done Jamie, couldn't of done it better myself"

Jamie giggled taking out her black sharpie, several times she drew a thick black circle around Waldo, "So I won't lose him again"

"One way to do it Jam" Harmoni teased nudging her ribs, Jamie gave her a big grin as the door banged open again.

"See, I told you that would happen"

"Fine you were right, here's a dollar"

"Thank you" Raven shoved the dollar bill down her black shirt as Trish stood, hands on hips, evil stare aimed straight at her husband.

"So this is where you're hiding"

Shawn swallowed that little bit of ego he was choking on, "Trish I'm sorry I called your ass fat"

Trish shook her head, "I'm not mad about that"

"Then why are you mad?"

"Because I found these in your closet" Trish snapped holding up a pair of lime green lacy panties.

"Ooh dun-dun-dun" Raven offered drumming her knuckles on the table, they didn't even bother looking at her, it was something they all saw coming.

Shawn took one look at the green panties before letting out a laugh, which didn't help his case.

"Well I'm glad you find it funny"

"Harm whats goin on? I'm lost" Jamie whispered, her blue eyes looking from her father to Trish and back to Raven.

"Trish found panties and is accusin Dad of being a douche-bag, we could've told her that"

"When do we get the cookies?" Raven asked again thinking of nothing but her stomach.

"Trish it's not what you think, I got those for you"

Trish just looked at him,

"Remember you said that our sex life might get old so I thought that sexy lingerie would help but then you said they looked skanky, I was meant to return them but I guess I forgot, I think I got caught up doing something else"

"Like what?"

"Seriously Raven, you had to ask?"

"I'm curious" Raven defended herself to her sister.

"I think I was fishing, I can't remember"

"So these were meant to be for me?" Trish asked trying to stay caught up. The three girls nodding their heads back and fourth like a tennis game.

"Yes, Trish I would never have an affair, I may call your ass fat but thats only because I'm a douche-bag"

Trish laughed "Yeah I all ready knew that"

Shawn looked to his wife hopefully "So can I come home?"

"Of course, who else is gonna bang me the way you do"

Raven and Harmoni groaned in disgust, that wasn't something they needed to hear. Jamie giggled only hearing what she wanted to hear. So far it was all about penguins, Jamie loved penguins.

Thankfully Shawn got up and took his wife home, making the girls sigh in relief.

"Seriously can this day get any weirder?"

Harmoni slapped her hand over Raven's mouth, "Don't say that because everytime you do, it gets weirder"

Raven put her hands up defence, Harmoni's hand still on her mouth, even so Harmoni could tell what her sister was thinking, it was instinct by now.

_Ha! I look like a mime!_

"Yes Raven, yes you do"

**A/N So thats chapter 1, it gets even weirder, so stick around! Also need a love interest for Jamie and Storm for later use, It can be any wrestler past or present, male or female, I will choose the best one! So stay with it cause you don't wanna miss the fun! Onwards we go! **


	2. Damn it! Fitness is serious

**A/N **So second chapter, hope you guys enjoy, the randomness continues! Remember for later use I need a love interest for Storm! (I have one for Jamie,) So your suggestions are welcome, any Superstar or Diva from any show or company, Onwards we go!

**Chapter 2 Damn it! Fitness is serious! **

After the crazy had dulled down, Raven went out and got changed into her gym gear. Harmoni gave her an odd look,

"Where are you goin?"

"To the gym, apparently Storm needs to work out and she can't do that without a gym buddy"

"Sounds about right"

"So while I'm sweatin my cute ass off, what are you gonna do?" Raven asked sitting back at the table to wait for Storm,

"I'm gonna make the first draft for my lodging house idea"

"You really wanna do this? You do realise that we probably won't get hot smexy wrestlers stayin with us"

Harmoni shot her a dirty look "Yes I'm well aware of that thank you very much, but to make up for that I'll rob them"

Harmoni couldn't help the kleptomania inside her, it was just a compulsion that was inside her and hard to control, if it wasn't nailed down, Harmoni would take it. Most of the time she gave it back and everything was fine, but on the odd occasion she kept her little keep-sakes. Under her matress with the giant hole, she had her little treasures, her father's HOF ring, Trish's diamond ankle bracelet, even Iziah's prized daggers. They knew she had these treasures, it was just a way of keeping her quiet.

"Ah nice to know that the kleptomaniac in you is still alive and kickin"

"I can't help it, things just look really shiny"

"I like shiny things" Jamie offered looking up from her Waldo book, "Harm if I find anythin shiny, I'll let you haves it"

"Thank you Jamie, see there's a sister that gets it" Harmoni shot Raven a filthy look as Storm walked through the door, Storm had only started living with her cousins after moving from her father's house, Storm was still glad to be away from her father, Triple H.

"So I just gave a homeless guy a quarter and now I'm pretty sure that it was Ryback"

"Your cousin has decided to open up a lodgin house and rob them while we trust them to sleep in our house"

Storm couldn't help but roll her white eyes, it was quite obvious to everyone why her name was Storm. Long white hair and eyes to match, the only differences between Storm and the _X-men_ character was Storm was pearl white and she couldn't control the weather, not that Storm didn't try.

"Why must things happen when I'm so strapped for cash, man why did I give Ryback that quarter?"

Raven couldn't help but laugh, "Harm you work on your idea, order anythin you need and I'll put it together when I get home, for the meantime I wanna run on some treadmills"

"Why?" Harmoni had to ask even though it was quite obvious that maybe Harmoni should just leave it be.

"Well I should really get back into my runnin"

"Rae the last time you ran, you were fourteen, you could hardly run then"

"See? I'm way behind on catchin up"

Once Raven and Storm arrived at the gym, Raven pretty much flew to the treadmills, the only thing she liked about the gym was the treadmills, Storm didn't want to leave her cousin alone but she really had to get a lump of fat worked off her ass.

"Are you gonna be all right on the treadmills by yourself?" Storm asked as Raven started up her machine, the dude next to her didn't even look up. He was too busy on his own machine.

"I'll be fine, now go, work out"

Storm gave her a worried look before heading to do her work out. Raven went back to her many buttons. Raven loved buttons, it was something she shared with Jamie, pressing buttons was like the vareity of life, you never knew what was gonna happen when you pressed one. Raven sped her machine up before slowing it right down.

"Walkin on the treadmills, walkin on the treadmills, ah the ground is moving!"

The dude next to her finally looked at her, making Raven blush slightly, she wasn't sure if it was her meds or perhaps meds she should be taking, but she was pretty sure the dude next to her was Dean Ambrose.

"Sorry, I really like playin on the treadmills, sometimes I pretend an earthquake is comin"

He smiled at her like she wasn't totally insane, "Me too."

"I'm Raven"

"Jon"

"As in Dean Ambrose?" Raven asked, she was pretty sure it was him now that she was paying more attention.

Dean laughed wondering when his secret would be exposed, he really thought this little gym would be the perfect place to hide in, no one had caught him out until Raven had stepped on the treadmill next to his.

"Yeah, are you a fan?"

"A fan of what? I'm guessin that if you're hidin in this gym you don't wanna be found"

"You guessed right"

"Of course I did, I'm very good at guessin" Raven gave him a big grin before going back to her tredmill buttons. "So whats a gym like you doin in a quaint guy like this?"

Dean looked at her oddly wondering if she knew that her sentence was messed up and backwards. Raven just shrugged it off and smiled, "I know what I said"

Dean decided to just move on from that, a little messed up sentence he could take if it meant the screaming fan girls were halted just for today. "Friend working on his biceps, you?"

"Cousin workin on her ass, apparently she has fat that needs to be removed"

"If she's built like you Raven, I don't see much fat"

Raven let out a little giggle, "Oh you, I bet you say that to all the weird girls walkin on the treadmill next to your's"

"Yeah you got me, can't hide that fact"

"Hey wanna race?"

"You mean see who can go the fastest without falling?"

"Yeah, unless you're scared the tattooed girl wrapped in black can beat ya"

Dean couldn't help but chuckle "Oh you're on!"

"Yay!" Raven clapped her hands before setting herself on the treadmill, "Ready?"

"Yup"

Raven pressed her buttons while Dean did the same, for the meantime it was just them in the little hovel trying to run faster than the other. The sweat pooled down her face and onto her singlet, Dean's long legs matched her stride for stride, everything started to beat faster, his pulse flew as the young girl beside him just wouldn't stop running, he knew she wanted to stop but her stubborn pride and restless ego wouldn't allow her, he knew because he felt the same. Raven started to giggle as she ran, she remembered why she refused to run, her large breasts were threatening to slap her in the face, every step cause them to get closer. It was Storm who pushed the stop button, Dean said a silent thank you because it meant he could stop as well.

"What'd you do that for? I was winning!"

Storm's white eyes narrowed at her cousin, "Damn it Raven, fitness is meant to be serious"

Raven cast a look at Dean, obviously he too thought that fitness wasn't meant to be that serious.

"We gots to go Rae, it's useless"

"I told you, you can't move an invisible layer of fat in one gym trip"

"Well at least I tried" Storm finally noticed Dean, "So who's your friend?"

"Oh, Dean Ambrose this is my cousin Storm Levesque. Storm this is Dean Ambrose. Also known as Jon Moxley, born Jonothan Good on seventh of December, nineteeen eighty-five in Cinncinatti, Ohio. Currently one third of the Shield and current United States champion. Finishing move Dirty Deeds"

Dean's eyes bugged from his head as the 'stalker' reared it's ugly head. He said nothing and merely got off his treadmill to leave her alone.

Storm couldn't help but laugh "You had to do that didn't you?"

"Do what?"

"Freak the man out, making him think you're a crazy stalker"

"Oh pish-posh, I'm too lazy to be a stalker, I gather all the information then I get bored and move onto something else. Ooh weights"

By the time they got home, Harmoni was covered in a layer of dry wall and Iziah was pacing the room in a frenzy.

"What's her issue?"

"Someone at her work left her a message and now she's trying to figure out who. What happened at the gym?"

"Oh you know, Raven played on the treadmills and made some guy think she was a crazy stalker"

Harmoni laughed "Storm, a little dramatic don't you think? Raven is too lazy to be a stalker"

Storm rolled her eyes as she went up stairs. Raven took a seat next to Harmoni, "So why are you covered in dry wall? What did you do to my house?"

"I made a hole"

Raven gasped "Is my house ok?"

"Yes it's fine."

"What the hell were you tryin to do?"

"Extend, and now there's a teensy-tiny hole in the wall which isn't my biggest concern actually"

"And what is your concern? Is it how many limbs of your's I'm gonna rip off cause that should be your biggest concern right now"

Harmoni moved away from her sister, "No I found this buried in the hole" Harmoni pulled out a small treasure chest of sorts, all dusty and covered with cobwebs.

"Ooh my chest! I wondered where I put that"

"Why do you have a chest hidden in the wall?"

"Incase I wanted to search for Lincoln's gold"

"What?" Harmoni should've been used to her sister's insanity but every now and then, like now, it just got to her.

"You've never wanted to go searchin for Lincoln's gold?"

"Um no, why would you?"

"I think the legend of Lincoln's gold is fascinatin"

"Of course you do, Raven are you even on this planet or have you gone somewhere else?"

"I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow, I'll be back in an hour or so"

Harmoni gave her sister a long glance, she was pretty sure that they were lyrics, and Harmoni Karnage Michales will officially give 20000 star points to the person who can name the song and artist.

"So what's in the box?"

"Porn?"

"What?"

"Porn. You know people doin each other in weird postitions and places, big phoney mo-staches"

Harmoni couldn't help but laugh "What kind you got in there?"

"Uh _Debbie Does Dallas_, both versions. _Boiling Point_ and somethin called _Deep Throat_"

"Oooh so all the classics?"

"Yup, hey wanna have porn-fest tonight?"

Harmoni gave her sister a hopeful smile "Only if you don't get mad that I made a hole in your house"

"I guess I can forgive you for that. I'm gonna go and check the damage, you get dinner ready and make sure Jamie is ok"

"Ok"

Raven bounded up the stairs while Harmoni went and waited by the front door, she had a feeling that she would have to do some running. She could hear her sister talking.

"Oh that's ok"

Harmoni's body tensed up while her sister saw the total damage.

"What the fucking hell!"

Harmoni fled out the door, at least she had a head start.

"Harmoni!"


	3. The first guests

**Chapter 3 The first guests**

The girls were in the middle of their porn-fest when Shawn came back, the door banged shut after his entrance, it seemed that the only ones that knocked these days were people who didn't know the girls, everyone else just walsed in, of course there was always the danger of being shot so in a way that was the downfall. Shawn lent over the back of the couch, watching the naked porn flick like it was completely normal to be watching that kind of film. Sex was apart of life so Shawn had to get used to it, whether he liked it or not, his girls, Jamie included were going to experience at some point, it was better that they saw the good about it and not just the bad.

"What one are you watchin this time?" It looked kinda old-shool, his guess would be seventies, not that that shocked him, apparently today's porn was just too fake. At least the women looked like women and not plastic barbies.

"Somethin called _Deep Throat_" Raven answered reaching for her coffee cup, Shawn was glad to see that she was back to her good phase, Raven and not the voices in her head was in control.

"Oh I've seen this one! Her lady-parts are in her throat" Shawn grinned, he was used to 'kiddy-proofing' his language due to Jamie's parrot-like nature, not to mention it made Storm, who was very sheltered, a tad uncomfy.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Jamie screeched, "Are you sayin her lady parts are in her mouth?"

"Yes Jam, thats why the movie is called _Deep Throat_" Iziah got out, everyone else got the reference except Jamie and her damaged brain.

Jamie however looked utterly horrifyed, "Oh no's! What if my lady parts are in my mouth! Oh this is horrible! I haves to check!" Jamie flew up the stairs two at a time hoping that her lady bits were still where they were meant to be.

"You know she has a point, I mean I hardly ever feel joy when I'm being banged"

Shawn let out an annoyed groan "Iziah please! I don't need the images"

Raven, Harmoni and Storm couldn't help but laugh before Raven pulled the leash on her sister, "All right stop scaring your father. Although you have a point, I mean I don't find sex that fun, I finds it kinda borin, now blow-jobs, thats some real fun"

"You know I've never done that" Storm added thoughtfully, "Never seen a point"

"Its not that fun" Harmoni assured her cousin, "Unless you're biting it off"

"Which I have done" Raven added in trying not to laugh, Shawn was about an inch away from having a massive stroke, heart attack and brain hemerage, it was time to save him.

"All right Dad, we'll stop. Why are you here?" Raven turned off the movie, listening out for Jamie and her 'discovery'

"Well I have a couple of friends coming into town and they need a place to stay, I would put them up, but there not attractive, can they stay here?"

"Like you even have to ask Dad. Of course they can't"

"Raven!" Harmoni's long leg kicked her sister right in the shin before turning to her father "Of course they can Dad. Wait who are they first cause I'm not spendin the week with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, you know how much I hate their constant friendship speeches"

"They give friendship speeches?" Storm asked Raven who just shrugged, she had no idea what Harmoni was going on about but what else was new.

"Adam Copeland and Jason Reso" Shawn got out hoping not to be called on it.

"So Edge and Christian?" Raven asked wondering why Shawn didn't just say that.

"No! I am not havin that Canadian bastage in my hoose" Iziah snapped, and that was why Shawn didn't come right out and say it.

"Iziah, it's my house and I need the _M&amp;M_s, so yes they can stay, when are they arriving?"

"Uh in about twenty minutes. Bye now!" Shawn quickly fled leaving Raven to yell at him,

"You bastard! You could of given us more time to prepare! Now I have to miss the end of the goddam movie just to make up the beds, I'm gonna tear your face off and use your tongue to paint my boat! Then I'm gonna staple a flag to your butt and mail it to Iran!"

Raven kept screaming and shouting into the open door before deciding that the ederly couple down the street had had enough vile insults to last them a while.

"Spose I gots to make up the beds. Tell me how the movie ends"

By the time Raven came back downstairs, Edge and Christian had arrived, looking very nervous and out of place.

"Right, you two are upstairs, first door on the left, hope you don't mind sharing a room, there are two beds of course"

Edge couldn't of felt more out of place if he tried, having their eyes staring at him just got under his skin. Having all those different coloured eyes on him, it didn't put him at ease. Pure white, harsh silver, sparkly green and now with the last girl, more silver.

"I still say that I don't want that guy in my hoose" Iziah stamped her foot, she really thought that her foot would go through the floorboards if she stomped it any harder. Raven didn't seem to notice,

"Yeah well." Raven looked to the two men, "Have you been introduced to any of uz yet?"

"Everyone except you...and her" Christian admitted pointing at Iziah, she refused to tell him her name until he agreed to kill himself.

"That's Iziah but you can call her Izzy and I'm the lizard queen, you can call me the lizard queen"

"And she's back to her own little world"

"I like my world, people listen there"

"Uh" Edge and Christian looked at each other, they had no idea what Shawn had gotten them into, perhaps they would have been better in a hotel, but no Shawn insisted that his daughters and neice were fine and there was nothing wrong with staying there.

"Oh and theres another girl upstairs checking her mouth, her name is Jamie but people call her Jam"

"Think I might go and have a shower then crawl into bed"

"Good idea" Christian quickly followed Edge up the stairs with Raven shouting behind them.

"Bathroom is in the middle, clean it up if your having the gay sex!"

Thankfully they let out a laugh, clear nervous laughter but it was there at least.

"This is gonna be ever so much fun" Iziah cheered, all ready her evil mind was scheming on ways to get to the two men in her house. And with the lizard queen busy with her lizard queen duties, it was going to be even easier.

**A/N And it only gets stranger and stranger...Onwards we go! **


	4. I wasn't looking at his penis

**Chapter 4 I wasn't looking at his penis**

Edge let the hot water trace over his tired body, he wanted to stay in that hot shower forever but he knew that wouldn't be taken so well. He was only back to the WWE for a guest appearance, his partner was back full time, Edge hated that he had to leave, he knew it was the best thing health wise but that didn't mean he missed it any less. His whole career had been something to be proud of, the people he worked with taught him so much he was shocked that he could remember it all, they all had a bit of advice for him, even the girls like Vickie and Lita had some advice and tips, he took it all aiming to be the best wrestler he could be, instead he was told he couldn't wrestle anymore unless he wanted to wind up paralysed or worse dead. Edge kept thinking about it all as the water oozed over his body, a faint singing suddenly burned in his ear drums, did he hear that before or was it new? Edge stopped so he could listen, it was definately closer than he realised. Edge turned the water off before pulling the shower curtain back, he didn't expect to see a vibrant pair of eyes, "Ah!" Edge fell back trying to cover everything at once, not quite succeeding,

"Ah!" Jamie yelped even more terrifyed, if she knew he was in the shower she would've certainly made sure that he knew she was there.

"What are you doing!?"

"Checking my mouth for lady parts, what are you doing?"

"I'm having a shower!"

"Damn, and I thought it was something to do with golf, I like golf. Have you ever been golfing?" Jamie asked forgetting that the only thing she should've been doing is getting out of the bathroom.

"Can you not be in the bathroom!"

"Um, can you repeat that? I have no idea what you mean"

"Get out!"

"It's my bathroom" Jamie gave him an evil look before going back to the mirror, opening her mouth wide and trying to stare down the gaping hole.

"Jamie" "Oooh you know's my name!" Jamie clapped her hands gleefully,

"Jamie can you get out of the bathroom please, I'm trying to have a shower"

"Well you're not trying very hard are you"

"Jamie! Get down here!"

"Coming Rae!"

"You too Edge, get down here!"

"I would listen if I was you, unless you want her up here too while you're trying to shower and stuff" Jamie grinned before flouncing out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Raven was waiting for her when Jamie bounced off the last step, even Jamie knew from the look on her face that someone was in trouble, she could only hope it wasn't her.

"Yes Ravey-Gravy?"

"What were you doing up there?"

"I was lookin for lady parts in my mouth" Jamie answered as Edge came down the stairs, towel wrapped around his waist. Harmoni couldn't help but wolf-whistle, Edge wasn't her cup of tea but he was half naked and she could appreciate that.

"And you? What were you doing?" Raven asked calmly, the fact that he was half naked made no difference to her.

"I was showering!" Edge shouted, his heart was still beating wildly, trying to get back to normal but not quite suceeding.

"Don't you shout at me unless you want your nuts cut off, I can do it, I used to castrate animals for a living"

Harmoni shook her head, rolling her eyes. Raven was talking back in the fifties when she and her husband owned a dairy farm.

"I was showering and she came in"

"Jamie were you in the shower room with him"

"Yessum"

"Apologize to Edge, you gave him a fright, that's why he's so mad"

Jamie turned a shade of pink, she didn't mean to scare anyone, she just wanted to make sure that her lady bits were still between her legs and not in her mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you"

Edge calmed down a little, now that he knew that Jamie really didn't have any bad intentions, now that he saw that, he could almost laugh at the situation.

"That's ok Jamie"

"And I swears I wasn't looking at your penis"

"Jamie!"

"What? I wasn't" Jamie protested, "I just wanted him to know that incase he thought I was perving at his man parts"

"Um that's good to know Jamie" Edge tried not to laugh or get paranoid. Jamie however looked to the slight beard on his face,

"Are you Jesus!?" Jamie had an obsession with finding Jesus, the problem was she could only remember that he had a beard and tattoos, so every guy that came her way with tattoos and a beard was asked about being Jesus.

"Jamie that's not Jesus"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm not Jesus. Can I go now?"

"Yeah it might be best if you did" Raven dismissed him looking back to her sister who badly wanted to leap at Edge. She had to make sure that he wasn't Jesus. Thankfully Raven seemed to know who Jesus was.

Harmoni looked to her sister, "So was it big?"

Jamie giggled as she spread her arms out, "It was this big, but Jesus' has a bigger one"

"Good to know"

Raven headed up the stairs about an hour later, hoping that Edge was dressed and not in a bad mood. Raven knocked on the door, waiting paitently for Edge to open it. Raven started to hum one of her favourite songs, the witch doctor song. Raven knocked again as the words tumbled from her mouth.

_"Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang, Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang,_"

Edge finally opened the door in hopes that the weird song would stop.

"I like that song" Raven announced, a child-like grin on her face. It was only there for a matter of seconds before she regained her sanity. "I wanted to apologize about Jamie, she has a little bit of a brain injury, she really didn't know she was in the wrong"

"It's ok, I'm just not used to having a young girl in my bathroom area, no doubt Beth wouldn't like hearing about it"

"Beth? As in Beth Phoenix?"

"Yeah, my girlfriend"

"Aw you is so lucky!" Raven gushed before hollering down the stairs, "Harm cross Beth off my list! Apparently she has a man so I can't bang her!"

"You can bang her if I get to watch"

"Hmmm interesting theory, I shall consult my diary, I might have a spare day in Feburary"

Edge laughed "I'll talk to Beth and pencil you in"

"Yay!" Raven grinned before bouncing down the stairs, he could still hear them talking, they weren't exactly being quiet.

"Did you just pencil in a three-way?"

"Why yes Harm, I did, why?"

"Just curious, hey have you seen the curling iron?"

Edge laughed again shutting his door, a little strange but he guessed it wasn't too bad staying here.


	5. And even more alarmingly

**A/N More randomness! Onwards! **

**Chapter 5 And even more alarmingly, there's a tree in the living room**

When the morning came, Edge and Christian found that it was just as weird as the night. Raven was at the stove stirring something in a huge pot, calling out her instructions to the other members of the house-hold, the only one missing was Storm. Iziah was at the kitchen table trying to pick which knife to take to work, several kinds of different sharp knives all spread out on a cloth, Harmoni in front of her eating her breakfast, trying to tell Iziah that she didn't need her special knives, she had the schapel. Jamie was on the floor tugging on her bright purple sneakers, her blue eyes centimeters from the laces as her fingers tried to do them up.

"Good morning!" Jamie chirped brightly before turning her attention back to her laces, that apparently were sneakier than a groundhog in a minefield.

"Mornin boys, would you like some food?"

"Um sure" Edge didn't want to seem rude, especially since he had one girl checking out weaponry and another plotting bodily harm against his friend.

"Just ignore her, she is so not a morning person" Harmoni tried to assure Christian who seemed very reluctant to go anywhere near Iziah.

"I would be more of a morning person if you helped me decide which knife to use" Iziah snapped, her hand clutching the meat cleaver dangerously, "This is important Harm, this decision could be the difference between gettin caught and not gettin caught"

"What are you talking about?"

Iziah went a light shade of red, "I've said too much. Forget I was here and said anythin" Clearly flustered she packed up her knives, muttering about her secret plans and how no one was going to get in the way this time. Her silver eyes snapped to Christian as though she just noticed he was there.

"You should shave that thing, you look like a damn Hungarian"

"Izzy get your damn knives off-a my table, here comes the food" Raven bought the huge pot to the table, setting it gently on a cutting board, "Jam come get your brekkie"

Jame jumped up, happily grabbing a bowl from the cupboard, her pink lips reciting the theme song to _Spongebob Squarepants_.

"Iziah what secret plans do you have?"

"Nothin. You're imagining things again Rae, just like the time you thought I had placed several cherry-bombs in Dad's dishwasher"

"Pretty sure you did do that"

"The important thing is, I didn't imagine it" Iziah grinned going back to her room. Raven just shook her head as she handed her house-guests a couple of bowls.

"Help yourselves, it's just porridge and honey"

Edge and Christain silently ate their breakfast, each man thinking whether or not to risk staying another night, it would've been the easier option but then again with Iziah's insults, Raven's general insanity and Jamie's oddness, well perhaps staying somewhere else, _anywhere_ else was the best option. The only normal ones seemed to be Harmoni and Storm, something that could still change.

"Harmoni you have a check up today so don't forget that"

Harmoni rolled her green eyes, "Yeah I remember. But for now I haves to get to work. Then the supermarket, is there anything we need?

"Chips!"

"Jam, seriously thats like the first thing on my list." Harmoni laughed "Is there anything else?"

"_M&amp;M_s! Oh and milk!"

"Right, I'll pick it up after work. Laters people"

"Jamie you have to get to course"

Jamie pushed her plate away slopping warm porridge over Edge's hand, "Sorry naked-man."

"Naked man?" Christian looked to his friend, "Something you wanna share Adam?"

"I told you J"

"Not that part you didn't"

"Jamie go to course" Raven gently pushed her backpack into her hands, she could see those cogs whirring around in her brain trying to keep up with the two men, who were now joking about someone called Beth and a possible three-way.

"Iziah! Work!"

Iziah bounded up the stairs with her trench coat fully done up, clearly hiding something from Raven. "I might be late home from work, I have something to do"

"Is it illegal?"

"Um...no"

No one believed that but Raven let it go, it was too early to deal with Iziah. Finally it was just her and the former world champions,

"Well you guys have a great day, I'm gonna-" She didn't say what she was doing, she didn't even finish her sentence. She just walked out and let them figure it out for themselves.

Harmoni was sitting at the kitchen table with laptop later that afternoon, her day had been full on hectic. Not to mention the latest news from her father, Jamie wasn't home yet and Iziah had suddenly gone MIA, Storm was upstairs asleep before her shift that night, just when she thought she was in for a quiet afternoon, Raven opened the front door, dripping wet.

"Rae, I'm gonna regret askin this, but why are you wet?"

"I went swimming!" Raven grinned throwing her arms up, flinging droplets every which way.

"With your clothes on?"

"Uh yah" Raven laughed again "I was talkin to the duckys, I had such a fun day Harmoni"

"Well it's about to turn bad"

"Worse how?" Raven asked stripping off her wet clothes in the middle of the dining room,

"Dad dropped by and handed off four more"

"Four more what?"

"Oh you know cattle" Harmoni said nonchalantly watching those silver eyes expand with utter joy. "People Raven"

"No cattle?"

"No cattle"

"Now I'm sad" Raven pouted slightly before going back to her task of getting naked, the wet clothes were starting to annoy her now. Harmoni was pretty much used to her sister pulling her clothing off, she was just lucky that Jamie wasn't home yet, then she would have to deal with two of them wanting to get naked.

"They wanna meet you"

"Who?"

"The people"

"Oh ok, bring them down" Raven grabbed a towel so she could dry her hair, it kept sticking to her back which was more than annoying, it certainly didn't help that Frank was pointing to her large breasts like some kind of child.

"You might wanna put a damn shirt on Rae"

"Nah I'm good"

Harmoni shouted up the stairs before remembering that Storm was asleep, "Hope I didn't wake her up"

"She would be down here if that was the case"

"Oh yeah"

Raven tapped her fingernails against the table as she waited for her newest house guests to come down the stairs.

"Well. You are tall bastards" Raven looked up nonchalantly, her silver eyes staring down the Wyatt family. Luke Harper, Erick Rowan and Bray Wyatt stared at the two girls with obvious curiousity, well Bray did, the other two were busy looking at the half naked woman covered in piles of tattoos.

"You are the house woman?"

Raven just looked at him before turning to Harmoni "I don't know what that means"

"He wants to know who's in charge and that my dear, is you"

"Yay!" Raven flung her hands up making her giant breasts wobble, much to the delight of the Wyatt brothers. "Yeah I'm in charge. Why?"

"We were wondering why there are no mints on the pillows"

"Huh...that is a good question now isn't it" Raven mused "So how long are you here for and where is Edge and Christain?"

"I checked their room and their gear is gone, so congrats Rae, you scared off two more people"

"I don't think thats gonna be an issue now Harm" Those silver eyes lingered back to Bray Wyatt, "So why did you people wanna meet me and if you say anything about mints, I'm gonna smack your face in"

"Just wanted to know the catch, why you would allow strange people in your house"

"No catch at all Wyatt people, rooms are spare so why not be kind and share" Raven responded "Plus Iziah might gut you like a fishy and Harm might steal your stuff and Jamie will mistake you for weird objects but other than that, there is no catch"

As if on cue the front door banged open again, Jamie's bright blue eyes looking at he Wyatt family in amazement, "More people!"

Before they could respond to that, her bright eyes looked to Luke Harper, "Why is there a tree in the living room?"

"Jam thats a guy"

"I think I know a tree when I see one Harmoni"

"You might wanna escape now, while you have the chance" Raven recommended unsure whether or not to feel un-easy about Erick Rowan staring at her intently. It was like he was trying to blow her up with his mind, or trying to strip her down even further, as though being naked wasn't enough.

Jamie however had decided to prove her point, her slender fingers poking gently over Luke's arms, "I'm tellin you it's a tree"

"It's a guy"

"I'm a guy you jackass"

"Hey! You will not talk to her like that" Raven suddenly came back to reality, "You do it again, you're gonna lose something very vital"

"I really don't see the threat small person"

Raven was about to really start yelling and throwing objects when a delighted squeal mixed with a surprised moan hit the air, Jamie had just decided to prove that she was right by climbing Luke Harper like the tree he apparently was, Jamie was now sitting on his back,

"I think you might be right Raven, this is a guy"

Jamie tried to get down but Luke wouldn't let her, too afraid that the young girl would hurt herself. Straight away he could tell that Jamie wasn't exactly normal. Gently Luke bent down so her long legs could find the ground easier.

"Thank you giant tree" Jamie bowed for some reason, "That is the nicest tree I've ever met"

"Jam go upstairs and have a shower"

Jamie bounded up the stairs, happily forgetting about the tree in the living room. Her voice shouting at full bull, Raven just knew that Storm would be barrelling down the stairs at any moment.

"She has a brain injury so she'll mistake you for random objects, if you handle it with good humor and not do anythin stupid, everyone will be able to walk out the door with their limbs intact."

"No offence but you're what? Five-one? How exactly do you expect to do any damage on us?"

Raven just let out that laughter, the evilness sent a cold shiver down Harmoni's spine, "You have to sleep sometime Bray. I don't"


End file.
